If you have ever found yourself so frustrated with an unbearable pain and anger with yourself and negative thoughts punching at your mind until you feel like all hope is lost, I’ve been there. Or at least I reached that quite recently… possibly a few days ago.
I’m Alexis and this is my story:
Ever since I was younger, I have turned to food to destress, to pass time, to just enjoy. I never realized how dangerous it would become with every midnight snack I consumed and every dessert I devoured. Of course, I understood I probably over-ate a few times… okay a LOT of times, but I didn’t see why. I never looked past the problem.
I had an unstable childhood with my parents divorcing and low self-esteem. I struggled loving myself and suppressed my frustration internally. However, the buildup caused great damage to my health quite quickly. Depression lurked to the point it began weighing on me and slowly I turned to different things, particularly food to satisfy me and make me feel better. Snacking here and there was common, familiar, comforting, something there when no one else was. But it eventually became an obsession, an addiction I was blinded to.
Over the past 7 years, I gained many pounds from chunky to at the beginning of obesity, based off of the BMI calculator. The highest I have ever seen myself was 190 lbs with a height of 5’5″ (which was actually not that long ago). I broke down crying and would have multiple nights that I would have a breakdown and just sob out of frustration with losing weight.
I have been through many weight-loss plans including calorie-counting, hardcore exercises, and limiting what foods I ate. All the restrictions and difficult training just left me exhausted and soon enough stopping because I would have other life issues or work popping up and derailing my focus and attention. In other words, I often gave up quickly if I didn’t see dramatic results. I would use YouTube as a tool to see how others do it and try their plan. It would work for me in the beginning, but every time my weight loss would plateau and then I’d gain everything right back! Every video about weight-loss seemed to be the same with drinking a lot of water, HIIT exercises, cardio, and a healthy diet with a bunch of fruits and vegetables. Oh! And don’t forget protein! It inspired me to apply these things, but I would just get even more overwhelmed by the many mini tasks to work up to my overall goal. I would have a good head start… basically the first two days, but then I would slowly decline in certain things and all at once stop since I wasn’t perfectly accomplishing it all! What BS! I know, being a perfectionist seemed to be my biggest excuse.
I decided I just about had ENOUGH of this nonsense! Why is it SO hard for me to lose weight! Why can’t I just find a way to get RID of it!
MINDSET. It’s all about mindset.
The biggest challenge I’m facing is ME. What am I doing that blocks me from attaining my goal? Why am I building walls and confining my mind in a cage? Well, my friend, that’s all about to change. I’m turning over a new leaf.
Turning A New Leaf 